Репетиция перед Ралли - Страница 80 - Форум

Репетиция перед Ралли
s1nod   Пятница, 28.05.2010, 21:17 | Сообщение » 791

is dead
Сообщений: 4856



Quote (LightM555)
Make your choice.

Дада!





http://s1nod.deviantart.com/gallery/
martin953   Пятница, 28.05.2010, 21:32 | Сообщение » 792

I call nine millimeter
Сообщений: 875

-
5762
+


Quote (LightM555)
Только апшипки исправить.

Дык, укажи на ошибки-то!




Третий сезон
LightM555   Пятница, 28.05.2010, 21:59 | Сообщение » 793

T-888
Сообщений: 742

-
3862
+


Вот что удалось заметить с двух прочтений:

Quote (martin953)
Q: Call me coltanhead once more and will crash yours against this very boat. Everyone is enlisted!

Пропущено "I".

Quote (martin953)
here is two boxes,

Quote (martin953)
JF: Dietze is hanging around and talking with everybody about how coltanhead is you.

В этих двух местах не нада "are" вместо "is"?

Quote (martin953)
D: Your ration is no more! Eaten by me and the rest of he crew!

the crew

Quote (martin953)
Q: We do. But it's looked in storage and only I have a key.

locked

Quote (martin953)
JF: He activated slefdrownig system!

self-drowning

Quote (martin953)
JF: Your sichead metal sinked it!

Может имелось ввиду sickhead?

Quote (martin953)
JF: Your sichead metal sinked it!

неправильный глагол sank

Quote (martin953)
JC: And you, Ginger, dash to the past for some beer while we dealing here… What did you say? My metal sinked it?

Тот же глагол

Quote (martin953)
JF: Nah… Doesn't fit. Need something dumbier... Riley will do.

dumber



s1nod   Пятница, 28.05.2010, 22:04 | Сообщение » 794

is dead
Сообщений: 4856



Блин, отредактируйте текст, а то я уже начал делать... sad




http://s1nod.deviantart.com/gallery/
martin953   Пятница, 28.05.2010, 22:16 | Сообщение » 795

I call nine millimeter
Сообщений: 875

-
5762
+


LightM555, спасибо. Снимаю шляпу.

Добавлено (28.05.2010, 22:16)
---------------------------------------------
Перезалил.




Третий сезон
LightM555   Пятница, 28.05.2010, 22:25 | Сообщение » 796

T-888
Сообщений: 742

-
3862
+


Quote (martin953)
Перезалил.

Не исправил self-drowning



martin953   Пятница, 28.05.2010, 22:55 | Сообщение » 797

I call nine millimeter
Сообщений: 875

-
5762
+


С детства был невнимательным. С годами ничего не изменилось biggrin

Добавлено (28.05.2010, 22:40)
---------------------------------------------
Родилось предложение слово ration (паёк) везде выделять болдом или цветом, как проходящее красной нитью через полотно повествования. huh

Добавлено (28.05.2010, 22:54)
---------------------------------------------
Исчо раз всё вместе.

2027. USS Jimmy Carter. Seasomewhere.

JF: Que-e-eg! Where's my aussie-dry-rabbit-meat ration?!?
Q: I put it in a sealed box in armory. I identified it like a bio-weapon.
JF: Yeah, like you know something 'bout food, coltanhead.
Q: Call me coltanhead once more and I will crash yours against this very boat. Everyone is enlisted!

Armory.

S: He-elow, Jes-s-sie… I Know you. You fight like Bengal tiger - sloppysome but without those stupid tricks like committing suicide and taking a leak simultaneously (gosh, I love this word) or marrying a terminator. You're an ordinary soldier but soon enough you will discover that it's not humanity you're fighting for. Right now, I want you to play a simple game: here are two boxes, death is waiting in one and your precious lunch is in the other. Eat or Die. It's for you to choose.

JF: Ha! Easy! Goodnow, open this one!
D: WTF!?!
JF: She'll not be apples. And seems, I'm not getting any rabbit today either.
D: Who give a shit 'bout your ration?!? This… Thing. What is it?
JF: Who give a shit 'bout this… Thing. My ration matters!
D: Your ration is no more! Eaten by me and the rest of the crew!
JF: What!?
D: You heard me.

JF: Hey, Queeg!
Q: Yes?
JF: Dietze is hanging around and talking with everybody about how coltanheaded are you.
Q: You're lying.
JF: Why should I?!

Q: If you don't what to end like him - do not call me a coltanhead.

Q: Thank you for your cooperation.
JF: You're welcome. Do we have any more rations on this boat?
Q: We do. But it's locked in storage and only I have a key.
JF: So give it to me.
Q: Can't. This is for Serrano Point.

JF: He activated slef-drowning system!

JF: Abandon the ship!
Q: It wasn't me!
JF: Maybe on next boot you will think twice before hiding someone else's rations. Coltanhead!
Q: Bitch.

JC: How you managed to loose my BOAT!?!
JF: Your sickhead metal sank it!
JC: Well. Fischer, get me those crunchy cheese things and make it quick!
F: Yes, Master!
JC: And you, Ginger, dash to the past for some beer while we dealing here… What did you say? My metal sank it?

JF: Alright, pretty boy. I need my aussie-dry-rabbit-meat ration and you know where to get one!

JC: Hey baby! I don't know what your talking about.
JF: Lying SOB!

G: AAAAA!

Same day. Later.

JF: How old are you?
WC: Eighteen.
JF: Marvelous! Come with me if you wanna eat! What's your name?
WC: Lindsay.
JF: Nah… Doesn't fit. Need something dumber... Riley will do.
WC: Whatever.

Past.

JF: Fischer, Fischer… Yo know, you just can't avoid me.
F: You killed Connor for a ration! You're sic, you know?!
JF: And you the only one left who knows about this. But you're dead already.
F: Killing me want mean a thing.
JF: I will be one step closer to my ration.
F: How's that?
JF: I've bring back a girl with me. She will play Young Connor to make a huge deposit of rations for the Future War. But enough blabbing.

Same day. Later.

R: Jesse, I've a bad news.
JF: Like you've over eat and now you're sick?
R: Not exactly like that, no. John figured me out and sent his pet-cyborg to kill me.
JF: This means "say goodbye" to my ration. No carrots and apples for you either.
JF: Shit happens. So, this cowgirl said Connor now everything. That means I'm figured too. Skedaddle time.

An hour. Parking lot.

D: Seems to me, you're not "my" Jesse.
JF: Derek, what are you talking about?
D: About ration.
JF: This is not what you're thinking about.
D: You've killed future Connor, you've killed Fischer, you've shot poor Ginger who bloody-messed our basement, you've even killed jew mobster, how supplied us with money. You're damn traitor.
JF: No, don't kill me. Remember how good we've felt together.
JF: Just let me go.

JF: Damn right! I'm not "your" Jesse!

DAS END

Всё меняется, когда приходят они wink

Добавлено (28.05.2010, 22:55)
---------------------------------------------
Proof read please!




Третий сезон
Отредактировано martin953 - Пятница, 28.05.2010, 22:54
LightM555   Суббота, 29.05.2010, 00:25 | Сообщение » 798

T-888
Сообщений: 742

-
3862
+


Третья вычитка также оказалась небезрезультатной:

Quote (martin953)
JF: Fischer, Fischer… Yo know, you just can't avoid me.

Здесь перевод вроде сомнительный получился. Мне больше вот такой вариант нравится:

JF: Fischer, Fischer… You didn't think you could sneak off me, didn't you?

Quote (martin953)
F: You killed Connor for a ration! You're sic, you know?!

sick

Quote (martin953)
JF: And you the only one left who knows about this. But you're dead already.

And you are the only one

Quote (martin953)
F: Killing me want mean a thing.

Я так понимаю, вместо want хотел написать won't ?

Quote (martin953)
JF: I've bring back a girl with me.

I've brought

Quote (martin953)
JF: Shit happens. So, this cowgirl said Connor now everything. That means I'm figured too. Skedaddle time.

this cowgirl said Connor knows everything.

Quote (martin953)
you've even killed jew mobster, how supplied us with money.

who вместо how

Quote (martin953)
2027. USS Jimmy Carter. Seasomewhere.

Что значит Seasomewhere? Это какое-то новое немецкое слово? biggrin

Quote (martin953)
Q: I put it in a sealed box in armory. I identified it like a bio-weapon.

I identified it as a bio-weapon.

Quote (martin953)
S: He-elow, Jes-s-sie… I Know you. You fight like Bengal tiger - sloppysome but without those stupid tricks

Слово sloppysome не идентифицировано. Это что имелось ввиду?

Quote (martin953)
It's for you to choose.

Вроде порешали, что будет make your choice

Quote (martin953)
JF: Dietze is hanging around and talking with everybody about how coltanheaded are you.

МОжет вот так будет звучать лучше:

Dietze is hanging around and telling everybody how coltanheaded you are.

Как минимум это короче, что уже хорошо smile Ну и ошибка в конце, нада you are вместо are you.

Quote (martin953)
JF: He activated slef-drowning system!

self



martin953   Суббота, 29.05.2010, 07:09 | Сообщение » 799

I call nine millimeter
Сообщений: 875

-
5762
+


Поправлено:

2027. USS Jimmy Carter. Seasomewhere.

JF: Que-e-eg! Where's my aussie-dry-rabbit-meat ration?!?
Q: I put it in a sealed box in armory. I identified it as a bio-weapon.
JF: Yeah, like you know something 'bout food, coltanhead.
Q: Call me coltanhead once more and I will crash yours against this very boat. Everyone is enlisted!

Armory.

S: He-elow, Jes-s-sie… I Know you. You fight like Bengal tiger - sloppysome but without those stupid tricks like committing suicide and taking a leak simultaneously (gosh, I love this word) or marrying a terminator. You're an ordinary soldier but soon enough you will discover that it's not humanity you're fighting for. Right now, I want you to play a simple game: here are two boxes, death is waiting in one and your precious lunch is in the other. Eat or Die. Make your choice.

JF: Ha! Easy! Goodnow, open this one!
D: WTF!?!
JF: She'll not be apples. And seems, I'm not getting any rabbit today either.
D: Who give a shit 'bout your ration?!? This… Thing. What is it?
JF: Who give a shit 'bout this… Thing. My ration matters!
D: Your ration is no more! Eaten by me and the rest of the crew!
JF: What!?
D: You heard me.

JF: Hey, Queeg!
Q: Yes?
JF: Dietze is hanging around and telling everybody how coltanheaded you are.
Q: You're lying.
JF: Why should I?!

Q: If you don't what to end like he - do not call me a coltanhead.

Q: Thank you for your cooperation.
JF: You're welcome. Do we have any more rations on this boat?
Q: We do. But it's locked in storage and only I have a key.
JF: So give it to me.
Q: Can't. This is for Serrano Point.

JF: He activated self-drowning system!

JF: Abandon the ship!
Q: It wasn't me!
JF: Maybe on next boot you will think twice before hiding someone else's rations. Coltanhead!
Q: Bitch.

JC: How you managed to loose my BOAT!?!
JF: Your sickhead metal sank it!
JC: Well. Fischer, get me those crunchy cheese things and make it quick!
F: Yes, Master!
JC: And you, Ginger, dash to the past for some beer while we dealing here… What did you say? My metal sank it?

JF: Alright, pretty boy. I need my aussie-dry-rabbit-meat ration and you know where to get one!

JC: Hey baby! I don't know what your talking about.
JF: Lying SOB!

G: AAAAA!

Same day. Later.

JF: How old are you?
WC: Eighteen.
JF: Marvelous! Come with me if you wanna eat! What's your name?
WC: Lindsay.
JF: Nah… Doesn't fit. Need something dumber... Riley will do.
WC: Whatever.

Past.

JF: Fischer, Fischer… Yo know, you just can't avoid me.
F: You killed Connor for a ration! You're sick, you know?!
JF: And you're the only one left who knows about this. But you're dead already.
F: Killing me wan't mean a thing.
JF: I will be one step closer to my ration.
F: How's that?
JF: I've brought back a girl with me. She will play Young Connor to make a huge deposit of rations for the Future War. But enough blabbing.

Same day. Later.

R: Jesse, I've a bad news.
JF: Like you've over eat and now you're sick?
R: Not exactly like that, no. John figured me out and sent his pet-cyborg to kill me.
JF: This means "say goodbye" to my ration. No carrots and apples for you either.
JF: Shit happens. So, this cowgirl said Connor knows everything. That means I'm figured too. Skedaddle time.

An hour. Parking lot.

D: Seems to me, you're not "my" Jesse.
JF: Derek, what are you talking about?
D: About ration.
JF: This is not what you're thinking about.
D: You've killed future Connor, you've killed Fischer, you've shot poor Ginger who bloody-messed our basement, you've even killed jew mobster, who supplied us with money. You're damn traitor.
JF: No, don't kill me. Remember how good we've felt together.
JF: Just let me go.

JF: Damn right! I'm not "your" Jesse!

-------------------------------

seasomewhere и sloppysome - таки да, собственное небрежное отношение к вражескому языку, тем не меннее, не влияющее на понятность (по-моему).
LightM555, ем снятую шляпу без соли. Моя учительница по английскому не справилась бы лучше. thumb
Университетское образование? Недавно? Я английский в школе только учил и было это 20 лет назад. Уже тогда, кстати, не дружил с грамматикой. А правильнописание у меня всегда было "хорошим, но хромым" (© Винни-пух)

В целом то как? Удалось сохранить хоть каплю s1nodского юмора?



Третий сезон
Отредактировано martin953 - Суббота, 29.05.2010, 07:11
s1nod   Суббота, 29.05.2010, 09:38 | Сообщение » 800

is dead
Сообщений: 4856



7 персонажей(Джесси, Квиг,Дерек,ДК,Фишер,Рыжий, Дитц, куклу в телеке я не считаю) мы не подумали о составе ролёвки, надо 2 человека(ну помимо меня) с ISQ, кто это будет?






http://s1nod.deviantart.com/gallery/
Отредактировано s1nod - Суббота, 29.05.2010, 11:52
Поиск:
© 2024 Хостинг от uCoz